Thursday, October 30, 2014


So here we are on the last day of October. And you know what that means, don’t you? That’s right—someone you know will be bragging about how they’ve already finished their Christmas shopping.

Yep, despite the fact it’s still eight weeks away, they managed to find the perfect gift for everyone they know. 

So how did they do it? Well, I have a few ideas:

A. They don’t actually have any friends (which, considering how they’re behaving right now, isn’t surprising).

B. Their friends and family have such poor taste they’ll gladly accept anything they’re given—including Instant Lottery tickets.

C. They‘re one of those annoying people who can actually figure out what everyone wants.

If the answer turns out to be option C, then you’ll be glad to know it’s Halloween and you have an excuse to plunge a knife into something.

Trivial fact: This is actually the reason we have Jack-O-Lanterns at Halloween. (They were originally called Jerk-O-Lanterns.)

Mind you, they may be just as clever and thoughtful with their trick-or-treating. So it’s worth dressing up as your favourite horror character (zombie, grim reaper, telemarketer) to see what you can get out of them. 

And if you don’t get what you want, just get into character and slash/stomp/bore their garden to death on the way out.

Fortunately you don’t have to worry about choosing the perfect gift for your friends and family. Simply rent a TV, home theatre system and gaming console from Home Appliance Rentals and your problems will be solved. They still won’t like the gifts you gave them, but you should be able to drown out the noise of them banging on your door and sending abusive text messages.

But you should probably call them as soon as you can. After all, those pumpkins are going to run out long before the bragging does.