Sunday, October 19, 2014

Fitness Freak

Summer’s here at last (in fact I think it got here a few weeks early), and it’s time to go to the beach, ride a bike and whatever else people do in Coca-Cola commercials.
Unfortunately, when you start peeling off the layers that kept you warm all winter you may find you’ve developed a few layers yourself.

Of course, the obvious solution (other than hiding in the bathroom and eating nothing but low-fat Colgate for three months) is to head to the nearest gym and work them off. But the last thing you want to deal with is a bunch of sweaty people moaning and groaning for an hour. (And that’s just the staff at the front counter.)

Luckily you don’t have to. Thanks to Home Appliance Rentals you can have fitness equipment delivered and set up in your own home that you can use whenever you want. No driving across town, no waiting around for equipment, and no mirrors!

And forget about the machine where you put the belt around your waist and get shaken so violently you throw up. Home Appliance Rentals can deliver equipment that’s far more effective, such as:

the Treadmill. Step onto the conveyer belt, set the speed, and start running. Pretend you’re competing in a marathon (by throwing bottles of water over your head), or just run to the rhythm of your favourite music. Just make sure you don’t add any slow songs to your playlist, or you could find yourself suddenly being catapulted across the room.

the Cross Trainer. Grab onto the handles, step onto the pedals, and before you know it you’ll be stuck. But if you stick at it, you’ll soon be burning off all those calories in no time. (It’s also a great way to perfect your impression of a robot.)

the Exercise Bike. Remember the thrill of riding a bike when you were a kid—wind in your hair, bugs in your teeth and the neighbour’s dog chasing you? Well, you won’t get any of that with an exercise bike (unless you crank up the air-conditioner). But you can ride for an hour without looking like a human bug zapper and lose weight.

the Rower. If you’ve always wanted to row but couldn’t afford to go to a private school, then this is the one for you. Feel ever muscle in your body screaming out in pain without having to worry about accidentally drowning (except possibly in your own sweat).

Before you know it you’ll be burning off those extra layers, not to mention the clothes you’ve been wearing while you do it. (Washing powders are good, but they can’t perform miracles.)
Now you can stroll along the beach with confidence, walk up to the hottest girl/guy there, and whisper the words you’ve wanted to say for the past month.
“Got any toothpaste?”