Tuesday, October 11, 2011
So your fridge on its last legs... er, castors, and it’s time to get a new one. Well, you could go out and buy one. Of course to afford it you’d have to give up a few luxuries such as food and electricity, which kind of makes the whole idea redundant. Your new white good would just become a white elephant (ears and trunk sold separately).
Then of course you have to get it to your house, which means either paying the store a delivery fee or paying a few mates with beer.
A much smarter idea is to hire a fridge from Home Appliance Rentals. They’ll help you choose the fridge that’s right for you, and then deliver and install it. And because you’re only paying a small amount each week you’ll be able to actually fill it with food.
But before any of that can happen you need to deal with the old one.
The first thing you need is a big, sturdy esky with a strong lid. This will give you something to sit on while you remove everything stuck to the fridge door—the latest round of bills, a notice about the upcoming school fete (and whether you can contribute) bills, and dozens of coupons for things you never buy at places you never go to. And all held there with magnets from pizza shops, video stores and your local politician. (This is what they really mean when they talk about “supporting the community”.)
Once you’ve finished that, it’s time to put the food you want to keep in the esky to keep it cool. And to do that you’ll need to fill it with ice.
Fortunately there’s plenty in the freezer—at least two or three inches of it all the way around. You just need to grab a pickaxe (explosives really shouldn’t be used indoors) and start chipping away. As you break through the layers you’ll discover long-lost frozen dinners and half-eaten tubs of ice-cream you can barely remember buying. But I wouldn’t bother saving them, as they’ll all be well past their “Use By” dates, which are probably in Roman numerals.
(The good news is your Home Appliance Rentals fridge will be frost-free.)
With your freezer contents either inside the esky or on their way to the local science museum, it’s time to tackle the rest of the fridge. This will be a trip down memory lane as you rediscover foods bought with the best intentions but never actually used: fetta cheese for homemade pizzas (it was quicker and easier to order one), milk for health shakes (which is now threatening to explode out of the carton), and assorted vegetables for your health kick that now lay limp in what’s laughably called the “crisper”. You’ll probably need several industrial-strength garbage bags to get rid of it all, not to mention a peg for your nose.
With your fridge now empty, you’re all set to have your Home Appliance Rentals fridge delivered and installed. Soon you’ll be marvelling at how much better it is, and how you’d better get shopping if you want to eat dinner.
And what should you do with the old fridge? Well, how about contributing it to that school fete? You could turn it into a game of “What’s that smell?” A dollar a turn, and you win ten dollars if you get them right. (Twenty if you can do it without being ill.)